Something that I’ve heard before but never really registered in my mind has finally hit me now.
The saying went something along the lines of ‘you must love yourself before someone else can love you’. And I’ve come to the realisation that I need to work on myself. I want to create my own bubble and stay inside it for a while. I want to start my own little life and make something of myself. I don’t need anyone else in my life right now. I’ve always been someone who didn’t mind my own company but I’m going to really appreciate it and will try my very best to enjoy life.
Each day will be like a pokemon’s day. A charmander spends each day gaining experience and learning new moves and geting better and feeling better.
That feeling of content is what I pursue. That is the aim and the way to get there involves ME.
My manager told me he wanted to promote me to a higher position in the team. Great I thought! Once the promotion opened on the internal job board he messaged me and said for me to apply and that I wouldn’t need an interview, he would just sign me on as soon as I submit my CV.
The next day I logged onto my computer, caught up on an inquiry the finance team wanted me to deal with then I started to open my application for the promotion. When my manager asked to have a quick meeting with me, I thought it might be about how I was finding the job so far but nope he dropped a bombshell and said he had to withdraw the promotion cos some big dudes in America were planning to change the team around a bit. I was somewhat frustrated more than devastated. He then told me that once he moves to another division cos he has his own promotion, that he would be happy for me to join that team….I think he was trying to poach me lol.
Anyway I said I will think about it. And now I’m in a new dilemma, I’m thinking of applying for another position within the firm, its a better position however I am not sure if my contract allows me to switch so early on without manager approval so I need to have another meeting with him.
If I get this other position at the investment bank then I hope to stay there for maybe 8 months? before gaining experience in something else. I fear I’m not showing commitment in my CV by changing roles frequently but you know what? life is too short, I want to build a range of experiences before settling into one career for the long term.
Lost count how many weeks its been since my last post about work.
I’ll try explaining the structure of my own team. Lets say there is Team X and in this team there are two subteams A and B. A has 3 people and B has 3 people. Then we have a manager who mostly helps team A.
Now because team A has been facing a lot of change recently by taking on new things, it means my colleague in my subteam has been supporting them. So this means I’m basically expected to take over a lot of the ‘business as usual’ stuff on my team. I’ve had a lot to do and so has my supervisor (the other person left in my team) who has been supporting me with things and trying to teach me a little too. It’s all just been a bit crazy lol.
But my manager had a one-to-one with me and said I’m learning really well and that my supervisor told him that I’ve been coping well doing so much stuff on my own. So that was nice to hear.
My colleague who has been supporting the other subteam A, has also told us that she’s going for a promotion which is great because she totally deserves it but that means I better get used to doing more work since its just me and my supervisor in team B. And we have A LOT of work we need to do. It’s quite daunting.
Also my manager is moving for a promotion too so that means we will be getting someone new managing us next month. I don’t know if thats a good thing or a bad thing cos I do quite like my manager already but hopefully this new person can bring something different to the team and maybe will value me more lol.
OH I completely forgot, I applied for a teaching position at this incredible but very competitive organisation. I might do a post on this in the future but basically I got an offer. Howeverrrrr they filled up places in my subject so they have had to defer my position til…2015!!! I was meant to start in mid 2014, so it’s bitter sweet. I’m on a reserve list so I could potentially be back in 2014 but I’m not getting my hopes up.
It’s messed up my career plans a lot and now I need to think about what I’m going to do when I leave my current job in February. I’m hoping something good crops up around December.
Do I live in a ‘broken home’?
Yeah. And I have nobody to open up to about it.
i need a hug
There’s a guy at my local mosque I’ve seen from time to time. He’s about my age and we speak when we get the chance to, mostly small talk but it’s nice. He has an older brother who is not much older than me and I thought he was pretty cool. You know when you meet someone and you think ‘yeah this guy is on my wavelength and seems like he could be a good friend’. Yeah I felt that when I met him. I sound creepy. I have probably spoken to him a handful of times and he comes across as a nice guy.
Fast foward to today and I find him on twitter because we both had like a ‘mutual follow’ and I think ‘oh wow there’s that guy, I’ll add him :)’ and then I get a notification from Twitter saying he has blocked me from adding him.
I was shocked. I haven’t offended him and I am not bad person. At least I don’t think I am. So I wondered what on earth could have bothered him to block me, he follows plenty of other people and has plenty of other followers.
It’s sad I know but I thought this guy could be one of those friends you have who is a few years older than yourself. Someone you stop to speak to if you bump into that person. I’ve reacted by doing the childish thing which is of course to block him back. I doubt he was going to follow me anyway lol
But yeah small things like him blocking me for no apparent reason make me wonder why people can be a little petty? Maybe I’m petty for blogging about him blocking me. Maybe he keeps a tightknit group of followers (highly doubt this when I had a look through his followers). This blog is about those tiny but overly drawn out rants so I can excuse myself for being petty here. He’s annoyed me. Maybe he isn’t a great person after all.
It’s been one week since I started my new job in an office. I don’t want to give away too much about the job, it’s at a well known company and my job is entry level and pays peanuts.
Listening to presentations which were generally boring filled most of the induction as well as a few hours understanding some concepts within financial services. It was all quite straightforward and I got full marks in the assessments. As smaller groups we did our own little presentations on some recent news within business. I can confidently say ours was the best and we were able to answer our questions quite well compared to others who faulted. So all in all I think I did make a good impression during training.
On the last day after our presentations we were introduced to senior people within our teams. This is where I realised things were possibly going to get a little frustrating. Basically there is another girl (around the same age as me) who is working in the same team as me. She isn’t very aware about business and finance. I sound quite mean but that really is the truth, her presentation was abysmal.
After speaking to her, she told me it was her cousin or sister or something who helped her get the job. And the senior figure also knew her beforehand so she had contacts within the firm which is obviously a good thing to have. I got the job on my own merit. I felt like working in the firm is a bit of a zero-sum game, there is only room for a few people to make a good impression and despite being great during the core induction, she will be the one who actually makes an impression because she knows people.
Once we entered the actual office area we were going to be working, one of the managers took the girl into a glass room to talk to her in ‘private’. I made some small talk with the other worker on the desk and then the girl came back and we basically headed out of the office because it was the end of the day.
That’s when I asked her what did the manager talk to her about, she told me that since there was a permanent vacancy opening soon within the company, that she could take it. We are both on temporary contracts, which was only revealed when we got the offer (I assumed it was permanent before applying). I suppose he offered her the permanent position (which has a few extra benefits) since it was specifically for the role she was doing in the team. So I can see why she got it and I didn’t but I will never know whether she was put into that role because of her contacts or whether it was on just luck or merit.
I probably sound quite bitter and jealous. I don’t think I’m bitter not right now anyway. It all depends on how things carry on, we still have more training and I haven’t interacted with people for very long so I’ll see how things go.
Regardless of whether I get a permanent contract or don’t get recognition, this job isn’t something I see myself staying in for very long which was why I was initially happy to take on the temporary offer. This was merely a stepping stone onto something better. I just hope that despite this being a temp role…that I get the chance to do different things and make my CV look better.